13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do
It was as if I was looking through a pair of sunglasses with blue lenses. The trees, the grass, and even the snowflakes that were coming down, were blue. This was Northeast Ohio in early Spring. As I got over the moment of annoyance that it was April and it was still snowing outside, I decided that I’d better dress appropriately for my morning run. I put on my knit hat, my fleece jacket and my fluorescent vest and set out. I listened to The 13 Things That Mentally Strong People Don’t Do by Amy Morin and although I didn’t care for the author’s voice in the audiobook, what she was saying resonated with me.
As I walked down the road (I decided to continue walking instead of running) I listened intently to the audiobook and began to analyze myself in the process. I thought about how I measured up to the things the author said mentally strong people do. Do I do those things? Do I enjoy alone time? Do I care about what other people think of me? Do I feel sorry for myself? Do I live in the past? Do I give away my power?
Some of my answers to these questions were startling but worth exploring. I certainly am impressionable and I also used to spend a lot of time pleasing people and trying to make others feel good while neglecting my own feelings a lot of the time. I am definitely working on these things by saying ‘no’ to things that I don’t want to do or steering clear of people who drag me down. I’m sure there are many people who want to become better people, break bad habits or otherwise become successful in their own way. But what I began to realize was that many people, including myself, underestimate how hard this actually is to accomplish.
One of my worst habits is that I have no patience. I really want to practice patience. I often think that many more of my goals would get completed if I could exercise some patience with myself. If I could hold off on buying something that I want in order to put that money towards a long term goal instead of the short term one, I’d be so much closer to that long term goal. Or if I could allow myself to gradually become a healthier version of myself by eating more vegetables for instance, I could actually make those good habits stick.
Something that the author mentions in her book is that mentally strong people enjoy alone time. I do enjoy time by myself because I get a lot accomplished and I generally enjoy being alone sometimes. The operative word here is ‘sometimes’. Being alone doesn’t have to be lonely. It can be inspiring, peaceful and transformative, especially if you listen to your thoughts or otherwise hone in on them and watch them come and go. I often practice listening to my thoughts while meditating or going for walks and runs. I think it is a solidly beneficial practice. Listening to your thoughts for just a little while can bring you answers to questions you’ve been asking yourself or even bring you peace from knowing that you can be one with yourself, alone, for a short while. For someone with a mental illness, being alone can be challenging at times, but it helps me focus and it helps me become mentally stronger, so that I can deal with mental lapses when they arise.
Morin also mentions that mentally strong people don’t care what people think of them. There is definitely something to be said about this fact. It’s okay to care what people think about you when you’re trying to make an impression as in on a first date or at a job interview. But as far as going through life constantly caring about what people think of you, well, that’s just not serving you well. If there is one thing I have learned in life, it’s that I cannot worry about what other people think of me. I have to live my life as I see fit and that may come with some glares and stares from others, but ultimately we all have to decide what is more important, what others think about us or what we think about ourselves.
All in all the book was meaningful and I enjoyed listening to it. I learned that if we want to be mentally strong we have to analyze our own thoughts and behaviors. See if you are mentally strong by starting with asking yourself some of the questions below.
Do you enjoy being alone?
Do you care what other people think of you?
Do you often feel sorry for yourself?
Do you live in the past?
Do you give away your power?
